I never thought I would miss the fog. I never thought I would miss waking up in the morning and shivering as the morning chill washed over me. I never thought I would miss pulling on my jacket to fight the cold, putting on my shoes and hitting the streets, living my life on my feet.
I didn't think I would miss the bus rides through the city I called home. Never thought I would miss dirty Muni and all the people, tired, grouchy, loud, filthy, drunk, or sometimes all of these things all at once. The morning bus rides are still fresh in my mind, but still feel like a distant memory. There was honesty there, a sleepy a truth to that daily commute. We're all heading to the same places, day in, day out. Tireless and relentless, but nonetheless still tired. It was a grind to not lose your mind. Only through sheer force of will my commuters and I made it through. And I took it for granted.
Now I long for the sights and sounds of the city. I pine for the bus rides to and from home. I miss the bart train screech and the silent conversations of the passengers around me. I miss the skyline I used to see everyday. I miss the by-lines of the daily Examiner handed out by a petite latina woman at Embarcadero station. I miss dodging the foot traffic of people on their way to work. I miss the water front of the odd numbered piers. I even miss the tourists constantly getting in my way and crowding the F train.
I miss taking the bus through Chinatown and the endless traffic, and stubborn old people forcing their way on to the bus. I miss the vulagrity of the Tenderloin, the boba places in the Sunset and Richmond, the freakshow on Haight, hell I even miss the gentrified Mission district (by god, someone please figure out how to stop driving the families out). I miss the changing scenary of the city by the Bay, and all it had to take and offer me.
But most of all I miss my friends and family. I miss coming home to a full house, where there was someone happy to see that I was home. I miss my cousins and my Lola, who I would talk to on the daily. I miss playing with Calvin and Henry after a long, tiring day at work. I miss just hanging out in Diana and James's apartment downstairs. I miss running into my cousin Pam in the morning on the way to work. I miss all my friends and coworkers, goofing off both while on and off duty. I miss breathing in the air, the faint scent of the sea not too far away. I miss how the city could feel so big, but be so small. I miss running into people who remember me, even if I feel like I should have been nothing to them but a distant memory. I had love for my city, and even if it may not be true, I felt like my city had love for me.
But now the fog has lifted, and been replaced by suffocating heat, thesounds of traffic, sitting in the parking lot people call “the 405”, and traversing the 10 at least twice a week. There are no more morning bus rides. No more friendly faces on the way to work. No chance that I'll run into anyone I knew. No family anywhere close by. It's time I start anew and man, things are different here.
